Heartache

So the house we were looking at fell through, in fact every single one of the "leads" that we've had has fallen through and we are still homeless. We told the people we are living with that we would be moving out in May, so we have to move out, and probably end up living with Jaren's parents, which is ok with me, as long as they are ok with it. I'm so frustrated that we can't find anything and I almost just want to go back to our place and live with the mold poisoning.

Also, as I posted before, 2 weeks ago we found out that my mom has liver cancer, well this last weekend they also found that she has colon cancer and possible lung cancer. Also, they want to do a full body scan becasue they think that it's spread more than that. So surgery is now out of the question and chemo is the only option. If it's spread too much, they probably just won't do anything and just have her on pain meds while she dies.

Right now I'm really depressed and stressed. I keep taking it out on Jaren and I've been keeping to myself, which I was told is not good, which is why I'm writing it all out. I'm angry that we can't find a place, I'm scared for my mom and I'm so worried. School is almost not bearable anymore and work is just ok, but frustrating since out of 3 people, I do the bulk of the work while they play on Facebook. Movies are my only outlet right now. Even music is starting to die in me, because all the songs I'm singing right now are sad! I'm trying to get new ones that are happy, but all the ones I pick, my voice teacher doesn't want me to do. Of course. I really just need a distraction.

Starting this week Jaren and I are going down to Aurora every weekend to help with my mom's business since she won't be able to do it anymore. I feel so bad for her because she's in SO much evident pain. Prayers are still wanted for her!

Thanks for listening to me kind of vent!