This is me at Halloween when I was in 3rd or 4th grade..just thought it was fun
So it sure has been a while...
Since the Bolder Boulder, a lot has happened. My mom's cancer has gotten worse - that's the biggest event. As of yesterday, she was in 10 days. She got better for a day and then got an infection from the emergency colon surgery that they had to do on her. They took out the main tumor, which was blocking things and not letting anything work. But now she can't have chemo for 4 -6 weeks. Also, she'll be starting on new chemo, more harsh than the one she was on, which was pretty bad. Right now she's in the hospital until they can get her pain under control. Until we find out what else to do, prayers help!
That seems to have overshadowed our lives for a while now - my mom's chemo, and now hospital stuff. I've been traveling down to Denver (Aurora) almost every week to clean the house, teach her voice student, and just be here in case I'm needed. It's summer and I'm glad to have the flexible schedule to be able to do this! I know once school starts I'll worry more than I do right now!
Jaren is looking for a new job, one that pays more than the $7.75 he makes now. For where we are living, we just can't afford that low of pay. They promised a raise in December, but surprise surprise the company put a freeze on stuff like that in January. How convenient. Lol. So along with pushing him to find a job, helping my parents, and work, I'm also auditioning for American Idol this Tuesday. Jaren and I went to get our registration stuff today and I'm pretty excited. It's always been a goal/dream of mine to at least audition. If I make it cool, if not then at least I tried, which is the hardest part in my mind!
So much is happening that I've been putting my health on the back burner. For a little over 3 1/2 months I've been having a constant stabbing/radiating pain in my lower left abdominal area. The doctor thought it was my ovary, but after checking it out, she said they were fine. She went through multiple ideas, and tests, nothing. Next came the colonoscopy. It went smoothly and came out normal. This is when I blew up. My mom went with me, before she took a turn for the worse. She said that the nurse came in and said I was completely fine. Apparently I blew up and was crying because she kept telling me that I was fine and nothing should be hurting me.
Abdominal pain is not fun, and it especially sucks because no one can tell me what it is that's hurting me so very much. I try not to talk about it too much because I know that other people are in worse conditions than me, but my sister advised me the other day to not keep holding things in, so I thought I could post about it here. She also made the horrible "joke" that it could be cancer. It's not. I've tried change in diet, exercise, good thoughts, Tai Chi, Yoga, Pilates, anything that will help relieve the pain. Nothing helps except sleep. but of course the fact that I'm writing this at 3 in the morning only shows how much I have not been able to sleep. I try to sleep and I never can. It's so frustrating.
So I'm just going along with life, trying not to complain much, trying to help my family more than anything else. It should be enough for now.
